Help with “picky buyer”

1. I take it the item was sold as second hand Used clothing? - Therefore it would have been sold at second hand used price?
2. If the Item is New a partial refund would be compensated by an 'In Trade' Seller & a Retail shop.
3. Which photo's show the seam binding stitches missing - theirs Or yours? - Photo's do form part of the description.
4. If it's not your photo's what $ amount are they wanting in a partial refund & what are you able to provide whilst still remaining ahead in the sale?
5. If the Buyer returns the item you also refund the shipping cost therefore is a partial refund that you can sustain a better option? 
6.  Feedback is another tough battle to have removed if it is factual However you are able to write a response underneath. - Paying a full or partial refund doesn't guarantee a positive feedback placed.
7. As you have offered a Full refund for the Return of the item & they have refused you have done the right thing, it is a matter of negotiating a positive outcome for you both to prevent a possible dispute.
8. Remember you can blacklist this Buyer to prevent any bids & purchases coming forward.

Hello, thanks your answer is very helpful.
Item was listed as used.
The buyer initially sent photos (after I asked for some) with fingers poking through the “hole” making it look rather large, they then sent another “saying look you can see it in the listing photos” so yes it is in the listing but just looks like a loose couple of stitches.
The initial email I received said “I have received item and it has a hole in it” I then had to probe for answers.
Price new was approx $180 sold for $50 branded excellent quality item, worn one winter.
I genuinely didn’t see the loose stitches, and they can’t have been that bad as I had washed the item when it sold (before posting) and I would have noticed it hanging it up.
Thanks so much!

Clearly the loose stitching was in the photo on the listing so part of the description. Would this reasonably have lead to a hole, or has buyer poked a hole in it to emphasise the damage in hope of better negotiation. It seems they want the item but are just trying to get a part refund and then they will mend hole. Sometimes where both sides say other is responsible, best option is to negotiate a small price deduction (that recognises the time they take to stitch 6 stitches) rather than get into the game of return shipping etc

You have offered a full refund but "they don't want that." Why not? Fishing for a part refund I'd say.

Personally I don't play that game. People have wildly different ideas on what the reduction should be. I offer a full refund incl shipping and tell them I will then relist the item mentioning the fault or fix it myself and relist it. Maybe at $1 reserve.  I tell them they would then be welcome to bid again if they still want it. 9 out of 10 times the buyer decides they will then keep it.

I always feel sorry for the Second Hand / Used Clothing sellers on Trade Me, a lot of the "In Trade" sellers seem to have more than the average amount of Red Face Feedbacks. Personally the only Clothing we will deal in is Vintage Furs or Bits or World War II era or early Uniform, anything else is to much Drama.

What do they want? What is their suggestion to remedy the situation? Sometimes buyers will take photos and email to complain, but they don't want you to do anything, they just want to complain.

In fairness to them, $50 is quite a bit for an item that has done a season, clothing really does not hold its value at all, once you walk out the shop door with it, the Value is 1/2 ed already, Clothing is like the car market - Once you drive off the car dealers lot, the 1/2ed and then the value falls away every year, until the car can be called vintage, and it starts to go up again.

I would be offering them a refund of $25, and letting them keep the item, thats the direction we would be going in.  But yes, just flat out ask them what they want first, you might find you dont have to do anything.

Used clothing is a tricky one as people have very different opinions as to what constitutes excellent, good or poor condition. Sometimes it can be hard to see faults in a photo and at other times buyers are just plain picky and want a discount.
If you do decide to offer a full refund, you will also need to refund all shipping ie there and back. Say for example, it costs $5 each way, you are out of pocket $10. If you were to repair, relist and sell the item again for $50, your profit would be $40 (less TM fees).
I would offer the buyer the option of a full refund upon return or a $10 discount and they can repair the garment themselves. If they can sew that will be an easy fix and it will save you a whole lot of hassle in the long run.

What would you recommend for a "picky buyer" who purchased a used latex mattress from me (as a buy-now at just after midnight!) and came to pick it up with a trailer. Since a latex mattress doesn't have the structure of a conventional mattress, the buyer was assisted to manhandle the mattress by 4 of my friends (I currently have mobility challenges so I was unable to do any lifting myself), who were all holding the mattress up close to their faces as they moved it along through the house and out the front door to be loaded onto his trailer. None of my friends noticed any unusual or offensive smells, even up so close to the mattress itself. The buyer was also up very close to the mattress during the lifting and carrying processes and never commented on smell at thatytime. 

The buyer had two very large plastic bags to cover the folded mattress, so my friends helped the buyer to insert the mattress into one of the plastic bags, then they assisted the buyer to thread the second plastic bag over the open end. The buyer then strapped the covered mattress in place on his trailer for the journey back home.

The buyer drove home with the mattress, then a day later started emailing me complaining that it smelled strongly of cigarette smoke - I am a lifelong non-smoker and the mattress has only been in a smoke-free, pet-free house!

Furthermore, if the mattress had been smelly, not only would I have noticed it when sleeping on it, but also the 4 women who helped the buyer to carry the mattress out of the house would also have smelled it/ They all agree 100% that they never smelled anything amiss. When I replied to the buyer's email with this information, he amplified his assertions that the mattress smelled of cigarette smoke and burning rubber! 

We had exchanged a few emails about his dissatisfaction on the basis of his claims about the (non-existent!) smell. I am in the process of downsizing, moving out of a rental property, putting things into storage or giving them away, and preparing to have surgery next week, so I have a lot else on my plate. As we left the discussion, he said he was going to contact the manufacturer. Now today I get a notice that he has lodged a claim against me, and I have been unable to find a way to lodge a counter-claim or defend myself against his accusations that I have mis-represented the item for sale when I have done nothing of the sort!

Any suggestions for managing this? Thanks in advance.

Hello Sherawali. Latex mattresses have a natural odour to them. They are after all rubber. That's likely  what your buyer is smelling. Perhaps they have never owned a latex mattress before? You could maybe point them in the direction of google so they can research it themselves. I'll add an example link below.

Don't worry about the Dispute too much at this stage. The first few emails are all automated. When a human comes to review the case down the track you will get your chance to have your say.

https://www.naturesembracelatex.com/blogs/news/what-is-that-smell

Thank you for that.

He said he had previously had a latex futon but hadn't experienced the strong smell. Seriously - I have quite a sensitive nose and had slept on that mattress without any issues for 4 years, so I really don't think it's anything from my end.

It is also interesting that he waited two days to email and complain, after we had both posted positive feedback on the transaction (I wish I could reverse that now!). He then claimed to have removed the cover, washed it and put it back on, but you really would never be able to wash and dry the heavy cover in a day. It's just not adding up.