Should I give a buyer my address before they have paid me?

Presumably it's a pickup item. Personally, I would feel more comfortable giving my money to someone that gave me their address before having to ask, and this is what I do. I would feel a bit uneasy if someone said I had to pay first, then they would give me their address, but often if the seller has sent payment instructions automatically, I then pay them and ask for their address if I don't already have it.

Really if that is a condition of sale that you have it probably should be mentioned in the listing. I'm guessing it wasn't? Do you have cash listed as a payment option?

Maybe you need to arrange a compromise if neither party is willing to move. A compromise could be that the exchange is done at a mutually agreeable public meeting place if you are unwilling to disclose your address before payment.  Petrol stations can be good for the cameras they provide.

I don't know what has been said to between the 2 of you already, but this could be a simple case of the buyer wanting to inspect goods before payment, they may want to check the colour, or size, condition ... that sort of thing before handing money over - it is much simpler this way, if they pay you, and then come and collect, and they are not happy, what happens then? Cash or payment on collection is far less messy for the both of you.

It sounds like there is a trust issue on both sides.
I assume that for security reasons, you don’t want to give out your address until you have received payment and know that you are dealing with a genuine buyer. For their part, the buyer is reluctant to pay until they know they are dealing with a genuine seller and disclosing your address goes some way to proving that you are not a scammer. I do have some sympathy for the buyer as scammers are a dime a dozen at the moment. I think it’s a bit rough that you are expecting the buyer to trust you with their payment but aren’t willing to show some trust in return. A quick look at their trade history should be sufficient to determine whether they are trustworthy or not.
I think if you feel strongly about this issue you either need to say No Pick Ups or make it very clear in your auction description that an address for pick up will only be provided once payment is received.

Thanks for all the feedback. It turned put the buyer had been scammed before so they were weary. I guess I was worried they would turn up unannounced. Anyway, I gave then my address and they made payment. So all is good

Kia Ora Sarah,

It's always great to hear when Trades go well 😊

Perhaps your payment instructions and when you provide your address you can state please make contact to arrange available Pick up day and time.

Thanks for letting us know the happy outcome - Cheers.